Let’s Talk About Groups, Baby…

There is a reason I opt out of most group activities. I bailed on EDS support group meetings, I removed myself from most chronic illness groups on Facebook and bunny groups are a law unto themselves. Holy hell. I don’t know who gets my back up more, militant illness/disability campaigners or bunnier-than-thou rabbit know it all types. Actually, it’s hands down the bunny people. Illness tends to at least humble a person. Adopting a needy rabbit seems to project a lot of people straight up onto a moral high horse of which they do NOT belong and then they spend their days condemning anyone who dares set foot inside Pets at Home to death by stoning.

I think the reason I avoid these groups is because all I have in common with people is a tiny fraction of my existence. Maybe a bunny group is fab if you have dedicated your entire life to rabbit rescue or consider advocating for bunnies to be your calling in life. When it comes to disability, while it’s nice to know we’re all in the same boat and aren’t alone in our struggles, I’ve purposely not let what I CAN’T do become a bigger deal than everything else. Even on the days where I am in terrible pain and can’t do anything, just being me still defines me more than the fact that I sometimes can’t wash myself. Also, it’s so easy to get caught up in how absolutely shit the world is for sick and disabled people. Really, it’s inaccessible and people are assholes. Imagine having to take in several stories a day about innocent people being in pain, being denied medical treatment, access to places or even being abused because of their disability – it would drag you down and bring similar worries to the forefront of your mind.

There is also the unsolicited medical advice. No. I don’t want smart crutches. It’s great that they work for you… but my upper extremities can only just about support themselves. They certainly cannot be trusted to haul my fat ass around. I didn’t just get a wheelchair on a whim for shits and giggles. There is also this weird disability top trumps nonsense that goes on where people with “Illness A” casually belittle the struggles of people with “Illness B”. It drives me crackers and helps no one.

Then, there is the fact that everyone has the internet. That’s why internet groups are especially troublesome. Every racist/homophobe/bully/opinionated person has a platform in which to be an utter cunt. They are either delighted that they have managed to upset the zen of a person or they have completely forgotten, in their need to be RIGHT, that they are ranting at a real human being who has feelings and may well be going to bed quite upset because they just fucking wanted to argue. Sometimes genuine, kind, well-meaning advice is given in a constructive manner – but not very bloody often.

Some woman on a rabbit page repeatedly asked me if I was happy with myself having sealed Lilly’s fate as snake-food. She called me naive and foolish and just kept posting links that any good PETA fanatic would be proud of. All I did was e-mail Dobbies about her being kept alone, un-spayed, un-vaccinated and with no stimulation. In the end, Dobbies deputy manager phoned me, was lovely and GAVE HER TO ME because he had her wellbeing at heart. She’s now spayed, will be vaccinated tomorrow and has all the best food and a diggy box and is loving life. She’s away to bunny boot camp in just over a week so that we can pay someone else to bond her with our existing pair and she can be a cage-free bunny too. We’re sending them away like cowards because… bonding your own fluffy bunnies is kind of like watching your kids seriously try and kill each other with plastic cutlery. Lilly hopes that the silly woman gets eaten by a snake.

snake food
Call me Snake-Food one more time….

So this is why I’ve un-followed a lot of groups I am a part of, or have removed myself completely. I can check in when I like, but it’s not screaming in my face 24/7. I can speak to the people I connect with on Facebook messenger without dealing with the fantastic combination of ignorance and arrogance that is rife in groups of people.

Basically. I’m not very tolerant of assholes. Sorry not sorry.

Ren x


6 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Groups, Baby…

  1. Kara says:

    Awww, you got a new booplesnoot! Bunnier-than-thou – that’s funny! I had my own little multi-species animal rescue several years back and I took care of the critters to the best of my ability, yet people were quick to criticize. I can’t stand that. No one is perfect. If the animals are happy and their needs are being met, wtf does is matter if I did something wrong one time three weeks ago? Trolls suck.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. brokendownbody says:

      I don’t know what the dealio is with these assholes. I don’t know what crazy Christine thought I was supposed to do. I politely explained to Dobbies that Lilly was an asshole because she needed spayed – which by their own recommendation, should have been done by now. She GROWLS at us. Since having to syringe feed the little madam for a week, we have a kind of sisterly understanding that perhaps I’m actually trying to help her, but we are by no means BFFs! Nigel is licking my knee. Fuck knows. Why did we get rabbits? Oh yeah, because even though they growl at me and piss on me, they are still better than most humans.

      (I hope you’re okay lovely, I worry about you xxx)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bowermanland says:

    Eugh, the Illness Everest Climbers! Gah. One group I joined made me both confused and very concerned: none of them seemed to be getting any medical help, and though we’d been diagnosed with the same thing, it seemed they were experiencing it in another dimension. I had to leave quick-smart before my head exploded in the way of a horror movie: it was like a group full of really suffering zombies. Then there were the angry people in another group who had all the science down like it defined them – they should have had barcodes on their necks. I found that creepy. They would quote what they were, but not say anything about anything else, they were totally owned by their genetics. We don’t need eugenicists – people are doing it for themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. brokendownbody says:

      These are the humans I try to avoid, but inevitably end up getting into arguments with. I know that illness inevitably turns us all into weirdos, but some people seem to feed off it. I don’t have the energy for that shit.


  3. ZebraWitch says:

    Ugh cunts!! You were the one that saved Lily. How dare anyone question your actions over this?!

    This shit is why I’m avoiding Facebook. I can’t face having arseholes draining my spoons with their pathetic views. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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