Chronic Illness Acceptance

There has been a strange shift in how I view the world recently. I’ve always read articles and blogs where people have spoken about accepting their new life. People often refer to old me and new me because it’s true, I for one have had to drop or at the least, seriously cut back on the activities that I thought made me, well… me! It turns out that I am made of much more than hill walking, rock climbing, drinking far too much wine and shopping ‘til I drop. Sure, I miss these things. Do you know what I miss the most though? Being a home-maker. Its silly things that make me feel really good about life, like cooking J a nice meal and ironing his shirt for work the next day. I love having a clean house, fresh bed sheets and a well-stocked fridge. It drives me crackers that my physio is constantly telling me off for “overdoing it” because I’ve tried to prevent our home turning into a pig sty. No one wants to be housebound and surrounded by an inch of dust and piles of dirty dishes.

Maybe friendship feels less of an issue because my friends have been about a lot more. I’ve certainly had to bite the bullet and just have people round when the house it’s exactly pristine. But do you know what? No one cares. Literally NO-ONE – apart from me. I have tea, milk and clean mugs and a comfy sofa and that’s pretty much all a good friend needs. I have one friend who comes around every week to watch the Great British Bake Off and it’s more of a lifeline than she will ever know. I LOVE hearing about her life. She is doing a pretty cool PhD, has a kick-ass job and despite her awesome life, she still has things to rant about which reminds me that sometimes being sick gives you a pass out of some of the stresses of adult life. Her long distance relationship and the upheaval it has created makes me more grateful then ever for J and the undwindling kindness and support he gives me and the fact that he is right here to give it. On a particularly bad day he can work from home and make sure I eat. I’d be really stuck without that. Cripple perks!

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I have other fabulous friends too. They have come over for dinner or even just a cup of tea. It’s nice. I want to hear all about their life, the same way I always have. I’m sure it also helps that we now have an insanely cute, four-legged fluff ball by the name of Nigel who everyone wants to meet. He is lovely. Despite all the mess and the peeing on the sofa (which he does purely out of spite) I have not once regretted taking him home. Even when we got him castrated and put a baby-grow on him to stop him licking his stitches, he still loved us. The only fleeting moment of hatred was when we put a cone of shame on him. Bunnies do NOT like a cone of shame, but still, not even one nip!

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I am a crazy bunny lady and made him an Instagram, if any of you particularly like lots of photos of the words most adorable bun:

NigelsNewStart – Instagram

 

But yes, for now and for the foreseeable future there are things that I can’t do. I realise that. I didn’t ask for EDS and I am doing my best to be as healthy as I can be. I’m okay with that. I’m just so glad that I have a partner, family and friends who still see me as me and who will continue to take the piss, even if I end up in a wheelchair.

Ren x

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2 thoughts on “Chronic Illness Acceptance

  1. Kara says:

    Can’t help but think of the Monty Python bunny. Don’t let Nigel watch that! 😉

    I suppose one cool thing about being chronically fubar’d is the discovery that we are very complex as far as what makes us unique individuals. Take away all of the activities and hobbies, and we don’t all of a sudden become someone else. Although, sometimes I think it might be nice to be someone else for a while. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. brokendownbody says:

      You’re so right. I wish we could trade bodies with someone else for a day. People would understand why we are so tired and sore… and there would be the bonus of getting to windmill and play with our willies sometimes.

      I do owe you an apology – I have been crap at reading blogs lately. I plan to have a mega catch up on Friday. Prepare to me snooped on 😀 x

      Like

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