I hate when people use the outstanding physical achievements of one person to imply other people aren’t trying or are lesser human beings. When they ask “what’s your excuse?” they don’t really want a practical explanation of why I can’t for example, complete the Ninja Warrior course. Most people couldn’t complete that course because most people cannot reasonably dedicate their life to training for that single purpose. Most people have to work 39 hours a week, have kids, other commitments and just maybe they don’t want to be a fucking Ninja Warrior. Some people want to be a good friend, mum, carer, teacher, engineer or in cases like mine, I just want to be able to go for a shower in the morning without a near death experience. I’d like to be able to wipe my own butt without excruciating pain in my shoulder and hand. I’d also like to have to wipe my butt less than 5 times a day but my digestive tract has other ideas.
My “excuse” is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome but even if I was a fine specimen of human health, I’d still be, at best, in completely average shape despite having two legs. Yes, it is amazing that a guy with a prosthetic leg has completed the Ninja Warrior course, but it doesn’t mean that I need an excuse because I can’t.
Why do we need an excuse? I’m calling bullshit. You don’t need an excuse to be happy the way you are. Yes, everyone puts off going to the gym. We all order takeaway sometimes because it’s been a long day and we just want to comfort eat. Do you know what? I’m pretty sure that all of the outstanding people featuring in the “inspirational” memes sometimes order a pizza or skip the gym. I’m also thinking that next to none of them personally got their photo taken doing their hobby or career and made a meme that implies they are better than everyone else. Some twerp on the internet did it because inspirational memes are the chlamydia of the internet in 2016. And a bit like the word “literally” which was the verbal diarrhoea of 2015, I think sports commentators are soon going to be asking for our excuse on a regular basis. And my reply:
I don’t need an excuse. Fuck off.