I’ve decided I’m not a disability fraud. I am slowly discovering an entire spectrum of pain that I didn’t know existed. It’s really quite something that one body can experience such an array of different types of pain all at the same time. I’m going to try to describe them… If anyone knows the correct medical term for these pains, please let me know because I’m pretty sure doctors think I’m a moron. Explaining things like a 6 year old doesn’t help with the whole “taking me seriously” malarkey.
Red – The flu like aches all over. I got this every evening for a month before I realised that I probably wasn’t getting the flu, little did I know it was the start of a whole other kind of sick. It used to go away in the morning but it’s becoming ever more present. Some mornings it’s much reduced but more often than not, it’s a day long thing. It’s really hard to function when every last part of you aches –except your nose.
Orange – Dull back pain. For me it’s somewhere between having fallen on my coccyx and having sat in the car for 6 hours and REALLY wanting to bend about and crack my back. But my back doesn’t crack and bending about like a soggy piece of spaghetti doesn’t help either. This is probably what frustrates me most. I understand that it’s probably related to my lumbar spine being seized up like a plank of wood but merely understanding the issue doesn’t always help!!
Yellow – Sharp back pain. Thankfully I don’t get this all of the time. It’s a bit of a lottery. I’m not sure what causes it, but believe me, if I could figure it out I’d stop whatever it was! There is nothing more annoying than leaning over the smallest amount to wash my hands in the sink and feeling like someone has sunk a knife into my back. It’s the sort of pain that jumps out at you, takes you by surprise and makes you uncontrollably yelp and freeze like a statue. The fear of moving and making that pain happen again is sickening.
Green – Nerve pain. For me nerve pain is mostly a problem in my thigh. I guess it’s like sciatica but not in quite the right place. I’ve previously explained it to J like feeling like someone is giving me an electric shock into a piece of barbed thread inside my thigh… every freakin’ time I lift my right foot. I also get nerve pain in my shoulder, or I expect it’s my shoulder – somewhere I can’t pin point between my neck, shoulder and elbow?! It fires off when I move my shoulder so I assume it’s that. I also seem to be squishing my ulnar nerve in both elbows sometimes as I get a delightful tingling sensation in my ring and small fingers of both hands. I guess in a healthy person they might be more bothered by this but to me, it’s a sort of welcome distraction.
Purple – Joint pain. My joint pain isn’t like a seized up, stiff kind of pain. Well, it is when I get up in the morning or am stationery for too long but that eases off with moving. It took me a long time to realise that joint pain doesn’t have to be the stiff sort. I feel more like someone is trying to prize off my knee caps and pull my fingers off. It’s a weird sort of pain but it’s impossible to ignore it. It’s absolutely infuriating.
Blue – Now, I know there aren’t blue Skittles because kids would be insane. They would probably also cause Autism (jokes jokes!!). I just wanted to mention all of the other aches and pains like my abdominal pain, IBS, acid reflux, fatigue, headaches, depression and feeling overloaded by noises. Many people (myself included) feel like it’s the end of the world when they are struggling with one of these things and quite rightly, they are absolute debilitating. But I feel it explains the extent of our issues and pain when something like IBS is considered a secondary issue.
I’m sore today. I’m going to go and sit in the sun and attempt not to get as sunburnt as yesterday. It turns out that our building has a cracking little enclosed decked courtyard. We live in an old hospital and when we moved in I joked that it’s where they let the patients exercise. Little did we know this hospital was built to house epidemics. So yes, that is where the lepers/people with typhoid probably exercised before they died. There is no wind out there and it is gloriously warm. Bingo. Then I will go for my MRI, must not forget the MRI…