I’ve got 99 problems, but a doctor listening to them aint one.

Just a top five list of dumb stuff that doctors have said to me over this episode of rubbish health. In no particular order:

1 –So, there is nothing wrong with your x-rays!” Sounding especially pleased with herself, convinced I am a hypochondriac.

Except, when I was sent to a musculoskeletal physiotherapist a couple of weeks later with the very same x-rays, she seemed very concerned about my lumbar spine being seized up poker straight and said that I need physio, but not until my pain is under control. My GP had also failed to mention that I’d already had private physio sessions to get my sacroiliac joint to go back into place.

2 – “You’re actually really lucky to be on the list for a laparoscopy in January/February so I won’t be contacting gynaecology to expedite that.”

I wasn’t even on a list, I had been missed. Had she called Gynaecology, we’d have found that out. As it is, a friend of my step-mum is a consultant gynaecologist who agreed that due to my pain, I needed my operation the next week.

3 – “I think that you might need to re-consider the drugs you’ve already tried and pick one to try again.”

WHAT?! Out of the drugs that made me horrifically ill, the same ones that the doctors told me to stop taking. Opiates give me (and my mum, and my sister) absolutely no relief, but they do make me very, very ill. Sounds like a great idea, eh?

4 – “Here are your pills!” In hospital, shaking a concoction of drugs I’m allergic to in my face.

Okay, but I will turn into a rash covered, crazy blood pressure, vomit and diarrhoea volcano.  This same nurse also told me to “Shut up” and refused to help me up to get to the toilet despite the fact that my hips and thighs felt like the fire of a thousand suns… And I’d just had an operation and had zero pan relief. She also refused to help me get out of the gown I was tied into… Thanks pal.

5 – “I’d give you morphine patches but you can’t take them so…”

So no pain relief for me? How is it possible that someone can be in enough pain to warrant morphine but because it’s not as simple as writing a prescription, we just leave them in pain?


Anxiety feels like the panic of having your head stuck in a tiny window. Poor Barry.

anxiety barry

And a bonus sneaky extra nibble of stupidity/arrogance I wanted to add: Repeatedly being told that it’s maybe because I’m anxious, despite the fact that I’m not anxious! I’ve suffered from depression in the past and have been extremely open about it, why would I lie about anxiety? I am exhausted, I am sore, I am frustrated and I feel like people are not taking me seriously. I get pissed off, not anxious. I’ve explained so many times that while I suffer from physical manifestations of anxiety such as palpitations, headaches, sweating etc. that I have no sense of fear or doom, usually I’ve been sitting eating my dinner when it comes on. It can cause concern when you’re lying in bed having chest pains and palpitations but when it’s for the 20th time and you know that it eventually goes away, you don’t really stress about it. It got to the point that my Mum had to fly back from Africa to sit in the GP’s office and spell out to him in no uncertain terms that I am not suffering from anxiety. If there is one thing in life that a man will take seriously, It’s a pissed off Glaswegian woman. Thanks Maw.

Ren x


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